FAQ’s for young adults couch

Young in a strange generation

As a young adult have you ever felt overwhelmed by the world around you the speed at which things move and change, the questions about careers, marriage, relationships, money and sex? Well if your answer was yes then you are not alone. Statistics have it that this is the most difficult time to be young when it comes to dealing with the complexities of life and weaving your way around the jungle of making the right decisions. Of course you don't have to deal with plagues and barbaric raiders and other weird things like that. The challenges you deal with are spiritual, emotional and intellectual to mention a few.

You have to keep up with a fast paced world that redefines itself as fast as you can send an email across the globe. You can easily get caught up with the razzle and dazzle of this world that you forget about the principles that govern life. Homosexuality, lesbianism, immorality, corruption, greed, violence and so many other issues are plaguing us on every medium possible. As a young man growing up and aspiring to be a good husband one day the easy access to pornography and other illicit x-rated material does not make your choices any easier, as a young lady wanting to get ahead in your career and still have a great family you are faced with the continual pressures to compromise your values and personal value in order to get ahead.

How can I navigate this world full of landmines without blowing my integrity and loosing my virginity? How can I succeed without taking the shortcuts that others are taking?

“Well pastor we are in a generation where marriage is overrated, integrity can mean anything you want and virginity is no longer a word in the dictionary except when we talk about Virgin airlines and virgin active. The world has moved on so we need to catch up to that other wise people will think we are prehistoric”.

Think again the pressure that is in the World today has always been there the fears the challenges on your value system etc the list goes on, the Bible says there is nothing new under the son, what was is and what is was. We are here at the Young Adults Couch to help you with answers to these questions and please note are solution are old fashioned but guess what so is sex, marriage and getting pregnant, getting a job buying and selling and taking a bath. These things are old fashioned but we still do them why should the other stuff change come on get real.

These topics that we will cover are based on some of the hot questions that I have queued up for addressing issues in your life. I have filed the questions and topics that have been on the top of the list for the past few years and now we are bringing them out to help you navigate life well and come out unscathed by the land mines. I have called this FAQ’s for the young adults couch. In case you do not know what FAQ’s are that is Frequently Asked Questions. I minister directly to about fifty young adults weekly of this platform and facebook and other social networks. The blogs are getting to thousands of young adults lives on a monthly basis not all call in personally to talk. I always think that God was thinking of me when He gave Mark Zuckerburg the idea for face book. So we are coming out clean and dealing with those matters that affect young adults lives. We will endeavor to be as practical and as real as possible. We will use scripture where possible but some things don’t have a black and white scripture to support it, like should I marry Sandra or Susan or should I work in an orphanage or a school.

QUESTION

What can we do to keep our relationship pure? Is it possible?

ANSWER

Well yes it is possible the Bible never requires you to do something that you cannot do. My first time to ever have sexual intercourse was on the 1^st of September nine years ago a day after our wedding wow it was awesome except that I could not find some things but that’s ok I have finally gotten round to knowing where they are. I felt it was sinful to read some verses in the bible that talked about sex, having been a youth leader and eventually a pastor to young people for so long our message was abstain abstain abstain until even I was scared of reading marriage books. I was extreme I suppose that why I was called Pastor Xtreme. But I learnt that you could focus your mind until it does the right thing.

QUESTION

Are there any steps we can take to protect ourselves from messing up?

ANSWER

Let me combine the answers with the previous question. Yes there are some steps you can follow that will safeguard you from making mistakes but the greatest tool you have is the resolve and the commitment that you will do the right thing. When the temperatures are high its easy to forget the steps its called “selective amnesia”. Here we go try these steps below

Make a covenant with your sweet heart that you will not violate each other by doing what you both agree to be out of bounds then make it with God and with yourself that you will keep things clean.

Agree with him/her to the standards that you will keep in the relationship. Then take the agreement and commit it to your mentor and be accountable to them with the relationship so that you can walk according to the set standards. That means giving frequent reports of all that is happening. My girlfriend then lived in a different city and when she visited I had to tell a friend of mine who is a pastor that she is coming she would stay with the couple and our visiting and events were monitored so I knew I would get asked difficult questions, so that kept me sober.

Did I want to sleep with her? Of course I did, she is a beautiful woman, did I get tempted yes I did but the mentor was scarier than the desire to sin. If you are courting someone you have no sexual attraction too there something wrong with you.

For the guys; Love her enough to respect her body and don’t you be pressing buttons because the machinery has no stop button. Avoid being alone in danger spots where there is no one watching

Value yourself enough to ensure you don't do any crazy stuff. Note that she is attractive to you sexually and that you are not made of metal you are made of spirit living in a physical body

To the ladies; have mercy on the brother and know that he is the weaker vessel (in this area) when going for dates don’t be overly sexual in your dress or you demeanor. Control the amount of sexual energy you release, as you will turn stuff on that will harass him for days. Avoid talking all the sloppy, crying stuff that makes him instinctively want to give you a shoulder to cry on coz he will give you more than a shoulder. And you will feel obligated to receive, there is nothing like a free lunch or shoulder for that matter.

For both carefully select your entertainment and ensure it’s clean. Flee all appearances of evil

Last question

Who is responsible for bringing up this topic and who manages the standards board?

Both of you but ultimately it’s the man he has already starting taking up the role of head of the home. It will not start automatically when there is a ring.

But hey have fun and love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength and there will be little room for other stuff.