Thursday 27 October 2011
The Young Adults Couch: Dating vs Courtship
The Young Adults Couch: Dating vs Courtship: Is there a better way? Love, sex, dating, courtship, broken hearts etc Hey what do you think about dating and courtship. I would like to o...
Dating vs Courtship
Is there a better way?
Love, sex, dating, courtship, broken hearts etc
Hey what do you think about dating and courtship. I would like to open a pandoras box and ask you to send you oppinion to this blog or to pastorxtreme@gmail.com In my next blog we will be discussing this interesting topic so we can get some clarity on what is the right thing to do. I know its one of those topic that can be thorny but lets deal with it. In the mean time I want to send you on a research trip to this link http://pastormark.tv/2011/10/
If anyone is cought in a sin, you that are spiritual must restore him in humilty lest you yorself fall into the same trap. The sign of being mature and spiritual here is your ability to help and restore a brither or sister. Not your publication of how they have messed up. Some people seem the gift of discerning fornicators. Obviously there is no such gift in the Bible. But the prophetic can operate in this dimension. But if all you see is fornicators perhaps you need help also.
We want to walk with you in the mine field of love romance and marriage. So come to the couch lets talk and build great mariaages that will be a blessing. Send your questions and comments on the above as we get ready to dialogue. I look forward to hearing from you.
By the way thank you so much for making this couch warm and comfortable by visiting it often. Lets be at home, let down your hair (if you have any) relax and lets grow together. Can I offer you something to drink?
Monday 17 October 2011
Personal Development is key
Discovering My GAPS
Hi trust you are well and growing in your personal life. One phrase that should be a common part of your vocabulary an is “Personal Development” A large chunk of your time as young adult should be taken up by an obsession to develop yourself in the key areas of your life, like Market place skills, social, skills, financial skills and personal development skills. This particular blog “The young Adults Couch” is designed with that in mind. I see the blog is getting more and more hits. I have received a lot of interesting responses from you and that’s been encouraging. I have also received a lot of requests to cover some other topics. Wow that’s a lot of work but I will get there. We want to cover as many key areas in your life as possible.
One important area that helped me as I went through my three-year leadership development program was the self-assessment test that helped me discover my GAPS. Giftings, Abilities, Potentials and Strengths. Knowing my GAPS helped me to know what areas I needed to work on most if I was to develop myself for effective leadership. When you know what you have you are able to make it work better and work for you. If you are ignorant of what you have and what your GAPS are you will not be effective in your life.
Hi trust you are well and growing in your personal life. One phrase that should be a common part of your vocabulary an is “Personal Development” A large chunk of your time as young adult should be taken up by an obsession to develop yourself in the key areas of your life, like Market place skills, social, skills, financial skills and personal development skills. This particular blog “The young Adults Couch” is designed with that in mind. I see the blog is getting more and more hits. I have received a lot of interesting responses from you and that’s been encouraging. I have also received a lot of requests to cover some other topics. Wow that’s a lot of work but I will get there. We want to cover as many key areas in your life as possible.
One important area that helped me as I went through my three-year leadership development program was the self-assessment test that helped me discover my GAPS. Giftings, Abilities, Potentials and Strengths. Knowing my GAPS helped me to know what areas I needed to work on most if I was to develop myself for effective leadership. When you know what you have you are able to make it work better and work for you. If you are ignorant of what you have and what your GAPS are you will not be effective in your life.
Work on your list of Gaps so you can discover the GAPS you are supposed to fill in life. Your assignment is a gap you are suppose to fill in this world. Perhaps your list of GAPS fits into the profile of the person who is going to discover the cure for HIV, or the person who will bring in the next great invention. Maybe your GAPS are just to help us run things better. I am gifted at encouraging people and I have envelope that ability until it has become a strength. The reason I blog is because I discovered I write very well though my style is more interactive talk on a personal level; I enjoy blogging it fulfills me. What are you willing to do even if you were not payed for it?
Take five minutes to answer the following questions. Fly over the questions do not think too deeply on them have a pen ready and write your answers as quickly as they come to mind
1. What giftings do I have?
2. What abilities have I acquired?
3. What potentials do I posses?
4. What are my strengths?
I had a great time doing this exercise it helped me locate myself, its amazing what you discover about yourself when you take a few minutes to think through some of these things. It would be useful to go through your answers again and take more thought to each answer you gave and ask questions like how accurate is this answer? Is this a strength I should posses, develop and focus on? What can I do now to make a potential a reality? What steps can I take to enhance this strength and make it more useful and productive?
If you are courageous you could even go to your mentor and get some input from them. We often find it difficult o have someone speak into our lives at a personal level because we feel they are attacking us, but it is healthy to have an independent auditor doing your books because their opinion will be more accurate. When they are done with the assessment sit and compare notes and discuss your findings. It will help you both to know what to focus your attention and energy on as you work at becoming the great person God ordained you to become.
Wow these are loaded questions and answering them puts you at an advantage to one who has not asked themselves these questions. One of the things that helped me was doing a personality assessment that helped me discover who I am and what are the benefits and consequences of being me. It was a kind of cost benefit analysis. It helped me know what I needed to confront and deal in my life and what I needed to celebrate and increase. If you can answer the question ''who am I?'' you have done well but better still ask the question ''who should I be'' but best of all ask ''who does He (God) say that I the son of man am?'' when you can answer these question you are one step closer to stepping into the greatness He has prepared for you.
Wednesday 12 October 2011
Wisdom for successful living Part II
Wisdom for successful living part II
Mike Murdock teaches in his wisdom principles that information that is not retrievable is not useable. Wow that’s powerful, if you are going to be successful as a person you need to keep good records of your life. That talks about everything, your certificates, important documents, money, investments etc. This would also include what I call your vision corner. Do you have one? A place where you keep pictures of places you want to go, houses and cars you want to buy. A person you want to marry the income you want to have the business you want to start. How clear is your vision? Do you have a vision corner in your house, at you office or even on your computer? This will help you with the principle of visualization, which says you have to see it before you can pursue it and have faith for it.
Work towards order everyday until order is a habit. Mike also says a habit of order will take you to any future you desire. I like that, please note that most of us were not born into an orderly lifestyle we have to learn to be orderly. I am glad I have a wife who will not allow me to settle in disorder she insists that everything I do must be done well. We fight about parking the car straight and putting the shoes in the right place. She even demands to read the blog’ before I post them to make sure there are no typos and grammatical errors. So when you see disorder know I posted before she saw them and know I will get a lecture. But this has brought about greater fruitfulness in all I do. Order is a good thing. When God introduces us to himself in Genesis He was putting order into the planet. I encourage you to work at creating order in every area of your life.
God knew that for things to work well there has to be order and when He was done he assigned man to maintain order in the garden. Name the animals and make sure things function according to the set plan and man did that until there was disorder and the woman ate then he ate then we were all in trouble because things were out of order. When there is no order you will have a lot of frustration. Order is often defined as the profitable arrangement of things. Are you profiting in your life or there is loss. Loss of time trying to find your underwear, loss of time because you misfiled the reports that are needed at work. Loss of relationships because there is disorder in your life, you will attract a wife that is like you. Orderly people tend to run away from disorderly people. So if marriage does not seem to be happening check if there is disorder in your emotions, finances, planning, personal growth etc.
You need to do a check up on the order levels in your life. I have been working on this a lot of late because many things were out of order. I could tell there was disorder because the first indicator of disorder is lack, poverty and limitation. Proverbs 27 vs. 23-27 says be DILIGENT to know the state of your flock, look well to your herds then he tells us that riches do not last forever but if you do the above you will have enough wool for clothing, food and money to sustain your staff. So order is a good thing to have.
Consider this as you plan to put order in your life.
1. Do I have a good diary to plan my day, week month year?
2. Do I have a journal to chronicle all the important events of my life?
3. Do I run a good budget? Keep receipts, plan in advance on my expenditure etc
4. Do I manage my relationships well? (See previous blog)
5. Do I invest sufficiently into my personal development?
6. Is there some one walking me through all of this? Am I accountable?
Mike Murdock teaches in his wisdom principles that information that is not retrievable is not useable. Wow that’s powerful, if you are going to be successful as a person you need to keep good records of your life. That talks about everything, your certificates, important documents, money, investments etc. This would also include what I call your vision corner. Do you have one? A place where you keep pictures of places you want to go, houses and cars you want to buy. A person you want to marry the income you want to have the business you want to start. How clear is your vision? Do you have a vision corner in your house, at you office or even on your computer? This will help you with the principle of visualization, which says you have to see it before you can pursue it and have faith for it.
Work towards order everyday until order is a habit. Mike also says a habit of order will take you to any future you desire. I like that, please note that most of us were not born into an orderly lifestyle we have to learn to be orderly. I am glad I have a wife who will not allow me to settle in disorder she insists that everything I do must be done well. We fight about parking the car straight and putting the shoes in the right place. She even demands to read the blog’ before I post them to make sure there are no typos and grammatical errors. So when you see disorder know I posted before she saw them and know I will get a lecture. But this has brought about greater fruitfulness in all I do. Order is a good thing. When God introduces us to himself in Genesis He was putting order into the planet. I encourage you to work at creating order in every area of your life.
God knew that for things to work well there has to be order and when He was done he assigned man to maintain order in the garden. Name the animals and make sure things function according to the set plan and man did that until there was disorder and the woman ate then he ate then we were all in trouble because things were out of order. When there is no order you will have a lot of frustration. Order is often defined as the profitable arrangement of things. Are you profiting in your life or there is loss. Loss of time trying to find your underwear, loss of time because you misfiled the reports that are needed at work. Loss of relationships because there is disorder in your life, you will attract a wife that is like you. Orderly people tend to run away from disorderly people. So if marriage does not seem to be happening check if there is disorder in your emotions, finances, planning, personal growth etc.
You need to do a check up on the order levels in your life. I have been working on this a lot of late because many things were out of order. I could tell there was disorder because the first indicator of disorder is lack, poverty and limitation. Proverbs 27 vs. 23-27 says be DILIGENT to know the state of your flock, look well to your herds then he tells us that riches do not last forever but if you do the above you will have enough wool for clothing, food and money to sustain your staff. So order is a good thing to have.
Consider this as you plan to put order in your life.
1. Do I have a good diary to plan my day, week month year?
2. Do I have a journal to chronicle all the important events of my life?
3. Do I run a good budget? Keep receipts, plan in advance on my expenditure etc
4. Do I manage my relationships well? (See previous blog)
5. Do I invest sufficiently into my personal development?
6. Is there some one walking me through all of this? Am I accountable?
Hope you learnt something, now go ahead and do it
Monday 10 October 2011
Wisdom for living Successfully
Young adults couch
Wisdom for living successfully
Hi there its been a while since we've been together in the young adults couch. I have been busy with so much on my plate but I am back and I know we will have a great time. I have been doing my research however and I have all my info I need about young adults so you are sure to get value for money. Well its free but you will be empowered. I will endeavor to address the areas of need that stand out the most in the life of a young adult. So if you have questions you want addressed send them through and we will discuss them together and find some answers.
In the next few blog' I want to tackle the subject of ''Market place empowerment'' as you develop in life and come to the place of making decisions about careers, relationships, finances, success, marriage and so on; you begin to realize that there is a lot of decisions to make. This is a part of life and we all have to go through this stage. My real challenge with all this is we were never taught how to make decisions well. It always amazes me why the education system in Africa does not teach some of these important matters. They seem to teach things that make us good subjects, good workers and all the other smaller stuff, but never the important things like opening off shore investment accounts, how to change an unjust constitution. After all who wants Africans making good decisions and influencing the world?
I believe that the greatest thing our education system can do for us is to empower people to make a difference in life and I am not talking about tertiary education I am talking about primary and secondary school. I am talking about coming out of school with the necessary tools to make life work. Anyway lets talk to you now, what life decisions are you making in this season? Do you feel adequately equipped to make them? Are you living life by design or by accident? I discovered that most people are just living by chance hoping that somethings happens tomorrow to make things better. LIFE IS GOVERNED BY PRINCIPLES.
These are very important questions that every young adult needs to look at and give considerable time thinking through these. Failure to do so means you will never reach your full potential. I have always taught that the most outstanding ingredient in life that makes one stand out in life is vision. Proverbs says where there is no vision the people perish, another translation says where there is no divine guidance the people run wild. That sounds like what is going on. In other words vision is a means of receiving divine guidance. There is an inference that there is a blueprint or master plan for ones life. Success therefore is the ability to see perceive that plan and begin to act it out its the ability to fully live out all that is ordained for you. I teach people that if you can Perceive it you can conceive it and you can achieve it. Or what the mind can perceive it can conceive and it can achieve. If you have a viosion of it your mind can create a path to make it happen.
Your career, you relationships, your finances must therefore of necessity meet certain standards that God has set. Do not live below the God set standard endeavor to live life out to the full. I was telling people that there are many people living below the BDL Blessing datum line. In order to do this you will need to be well connected to people that will enable you to do that. When you have a picture of the life that is to be lived the next thing you need is the necessary relationships that will bring into your life the knowledge, skills and information needed to make your vision a reality. John Maxwell teaches a law called the law of the inner circle ''Those closest to you determine the level of success'' can I pause here and encourage you to do a relationship inventory. This means you have to ask yourself these questions and take time to write the detailed answers; after giving thought to your answers you will find that you have what I call "relationship clutter".
That means there are some relationships that are not necessary and there are others that are being underutilized. We all tend to find it easier to spend time with the ''liability relationships" and not "investing" time into "asset relationship". I use these word deliberately because when you spend time its gone and when you invest time its an asset that will work for you later. We will talk more on this in a later blog. Let me close by giving you the questions you need to ask yourself.
1. Who are the top ten people in my life?
2. On a scale of 1-10 rate the relationship to see if the is good return on investment. In other words you say. John is my friend I invest four hours a week with him, what returns am I getting from this relationship. This sound technical and unfriendly well if you feel a relationship has no or little value you will not be committed to it. If you discover that it is a key relationship its value will appreciate and you will get more from it.
3. Are these relationships necessary?
4. Are these relationships adding to the vision in my heart?
5. What key areas in my life are not getting a consistent or sufficient supply of investment?
Look at each question deeply and honestly and your life will begin to change. The quality of life=quality of information knowledge)=quality of relationships. Remember the equations from school, I hated them but these ones are easier. You can put these together in any order and get standard results. Which part d you need to change? Let me leave it at that so you can buy the whole kit on building key relationship and dealing with relationship clutter.
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