Finding the right guy
…Thank you Pastor. Well, I
believe that a structured way of courtship will save us a lot of heartache. May
we have guidance?...
Hello its been a while
since I blogged I have been so busy writing books that its been a challenge to
get to my regular blogging as I like to keep my blogs fresh, current and well
researched. If you have not seen my book Success Paradigms 101 well… not sure
what you been reading. Get it today do the personal assessment and see where
you are in light of your success quotient go to www.success101.co.za you’ll enjoy it.
I am back with a bang and I
would like to tackle some really hot topics in the next few months. For the
young adults I want to look into courtship, dating and marriage, see the
question above asked by one of our readers, very interesting question. Here is
my disclaimer I am a Pastor and a success coach and this is an interesting mix
because I am supposed to be relevant to all audiences. I am however a bible
based minister and endeavor to give you Gods proven wisdom on the matters we
discuss so don’t hate the Pastor just love the Word.
What do I look for in the guy that will sweep me of my feet? When should I be swept of
my feet? Hey good questions, I am asked this question so many times and its
amazing how many people get disappointed in relationships that get messed up
simply because they ignore sound judgment in this area. This week I want to
focus on helping the ladies, here is some wisdom that will help.
Think of this scripture in
Proverbs 22:1 a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor
is better than silver or gold. Interesting God is telling you that you should look
for good name more than great riches. How many of us look for comfort and
financial security above a good name. Your first port of call should be the
integrity and honor factor in the guy. Does he have a good name? This obviously
is difficult to tell as there are some guys that should be given Grammy awards
for acting.
How do I tell that he has
honor? Will here are some clues
He has a good reputation in
the community
He keeps promises
He honors and values you as
a person (your thoughts, feelings and principles)
He handles his money well (Money
tells a lot about what is in a persons heart) Jesus said where your treasure is
that’s where your heart will be also.
He keeps his commitments
He does not lie (to you or
to others)
He does not violate you by
asking you to do what you are not happy to do
His words and actions
communicate to you that you are valuable
The power of honor
Why make a fuss about honor
over “handsome, cute, sexy, money” and the other things on your list? Well for
start a man without honor is dangerous to all that are around because his words
are empty. He promises and does not deliver the bible calls it clouds that
bring no rain. The traits that most husbands demonstrate when the marriage goes
south can often be picked up at an earlier stage of the relationship. Doing an
assessment to locate where things are is a good way to begin
It is also important to
note that a man without honor will cheat on you, as he will not be able to stay
true to his promise or vow. What you translate to be security in marriage is
when he delivers what he says he will. If words and action are not consistent
you feel insecure whether it’s with the secretary or the messages on his cell
phone or what happened to the R300 withdrawal. All this comes as a result of
lack of honor in his life.
I know someone might argue
and say well I want a Christian well I would not agree with you more but
qualify “Christian” as that could mean many things. I see a lot of men that go
to church and have no honor…
They don’t tithe
They don’t serve others
They consistently come late
to church
They do not worship in
church
They do not pray
They are not connected or
accountable
Pastor you are being hard,
well am I really think of it this way he is a robber, liar, insubordinate
person who has a low opinion of God. Does that look like good husband material
to you? Look for a man who honors Gods word.
Most abusive men that I
know are not accountable to anyone. In fact when men begin to flirt and have an
affair you will see the above traits increase in their life.
Here is the good news a man
who understands honor will carry the blessing on his life because his words
have integrity he is not two faced. You cannot be lying to a person and expect
your words to carry power in the realm of God. Going back to our scripture in
Proverbs God is not against you having riches, silver and gold; no in fact he
wants you to have it in abundance without sorrow. The result of honor is
promotion, increase and wealth.
As I close its important
that you be honorable as well because you attract who/what you are. Don’t be
surprised when you discover that your boyfriend is cheating its your fault as
much as it is his. Are you whole and well balanced?
Work on you and you will
sooner or later attract him to manifest. Check your own honor level, where is
it? Lets work on increasing it and you will see His goodness in your life be he
that finds you finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord
