LORD I need a man!!!

LORD I need a man

Here is some fatherly advise to the ladies out there who are desperately looking for a man to ask for their hand in marriage. As I write this I am thinking 20 years ahead and preparing for the day my daughters bring a man home and introduce him as their boyfriend. No protocol with me so uncles I apologize I cannot relegate such an important event to culture and have someone stand in for me. I want to meet him myself and get a police clearance on him before he is introduced as a boyfriend, because by then it’s too late to convince her otherwise.

I will Google him and get the 411 in advance, in fact the moment I see you looking at my daughter I will start checking you out. Then I will ask for a CV then I will take you for steak to see if you have table manners and the decency to pay the bill and to sow a good seed to the waiter. My daughters will not marry bad mannered stingy men with a bad police report unless it’s been put under the blood. I have told my daughters that if a boy looks at you I will break his legs then pray for his healing then break them again until he gets the point. I have invested my life there so they deserve to be a married to a man who is better than me.

But while I went on this adventure in my mind I realized I have spiritual daughters in the church as well and asked what should my attitude be towards them and the men they want to marry. I realized that there is little difference if any at all and I should protect them as much as I would protect Hannah and Kharece. So this blog is for my daughters and daughters in law in other churches. Here are a few important steps to consider when looking for a man. (Remember this builds up from my other articles, how to get a man how to get a woman, Should I share my treasures etc. see blog archive)

‘I want a man I want to get married amen Lord’ a month later ‘a man Lord a man’ another month later any man Lord any man’ This sounds like a desperate woman. It is not easy to honestly agree and say yes I am desperate but the symptoms can be seen in either how you throw yourself at a man or how you abuse yourself and don’t dress well and send out signals that say I don’t care. Desperate women often want to give a boyfriend husbands privileges in the hope that he will become a husband this often leads to heart ache not marital bliss. I encourage you to lock it up and live according to the word of God and you will see the beauty of femininity at work.

Well if you are honest enough to locate where you are in your progression to marriage and see some of the wrong traits you can pause and adjust and get yourself beautiful again and you will be noticed.

Here we go what should you do when you notice the eye you are getting is now different and you see a keen interest in him for you?

Step one.        Check if you have a keen interest in him also and if he fits into your requirement

Step two.        Check if it feels good to you and to the Holy GHOST. You may not get a voice on this so follow the leading in your heart. In fact if you hear a voice it might be the guy trying to convince you that he is the one. Be sensitive to what the Holy Spirit will say to you walk in wisdom at all time. You are worth a good man in your life not just any man

Step three.     Get a sober third party involved (In the multitude of counselors…)

Step four.       Get a detailed CV. Key question being “Who are you and where are you going?” This is important because you better like where he is going coz you will be going there also.

Vision is everything let him talk and talk and talk you just listen and see if there is consistency, clarity and integrity in what he is saying. (It’s a mini polygraph test). Trust me a visionless man will not take you far he will want to take your clothes off and run.

That does not mean a man with a vision won’t want to take your cloths of I wanted to take my wife’s clothes of but there were too many Pastors around they would have asked what I was doing. But vision was more powerful than the temporary distraction of her attractive body. 

Perhaps you are saying wow this is too much work is it necessary? Well if someone came to you looking for a job would you just hire them without checking their background and references. Marriage is more important than getting a job particularly if you want to stay there for life and enjoy the trip.

Meet his family and friends they are a good indicator of what type of person he will be when married.

Step five.        Bring him in for an independent assessment with your dad. If you are my daughter I want to meet him and see if he will handle you well and if you will be able to handle him. Premarital ministry is not a cookie cutter process one size fits all. The principles don’t change but the application is relative the two of you and your backgrounds. There are something’s that need to be addressed before there are strong emotional commitments and before you have eaten to many of his lunches and you feel obligated to give yourself to something you will not enjoy. By the way that is another important point. Don’t eat too much of his stuff there is nothing like a free lunch. Pay for your meals sometimes don’t make him feel like the IMF. He will give you policy on how to run your life. Only when you dad walks you down the isle and hands you over can he now assume full responsibility.

Step six.          If he goes to a different church meet his Pastor and get to know them check if he is submitted, connected and serving the Lord well. An un-submitted man will demand submission from you when he does not understand what it means. (Commonly called a monster, I have seen women married to monsters)

Step seven.     Now that he has been thoroughly checked you can begin to fall in love. Walk with wisdom and remain in the safe eye of your covering. Emotions have a funny way of wanting to run things. They are like lips they have a funny way of finding each other.

Step eight.      Start making plans to get married.

Well hope that helped. Try not showing a man you are desperate because he will either get scared or run or he will take your clothes off. Never allow desperation to control you, it impairs vision.

What What do you think?