Holy Word versus Hollywood

Choose yee this day

Holy Word versus Hollywood

There are a lot of words being spoken in the world today and all these words are endeavoring to be "truth" to us. What you choose to be your source of truth will determine the quality of life you will live. As a young adult you are under pressure to make decisions based on all these sources of truth.

Pilate asked one of the most powerful questions that can be asked today in John 18:38 and Pilate said "what is truth" after saying this he went back to the accusers and said "I see no fault in this man at all" wow. Let's deal with the first statement first, what is truth? This is a big question in our lives because we are constantly making decisions based on what we perceive to be truth. We all create our realities based on what we determine to be truth.

I want to zero this on the matter of relationships, as this is a key area in your life as a young adult. Hollywood has painted this amazing picture of the way relationships work. Boy meets girl the fall in love at first sight or there is a fight then they fall in love and when they do the lips find each other then they are glued to each other then hands tear of cloths and they make passionate love in ways that it can only be done by actors. You got to be paid to do that stuff it does not happen in real life that's why the divorce rate is high in Hollywood (or rather its low because there are few marriages)

The second statement is a confirmation, consolation and comfort that if you use Christ as the premise of truth in your life you will be safe. Pilate said "I find no fault in him AT ALL" (emphasis added) there is nothing wrong with this man he has no fault in his believes, values or what he represents. Wow what words to come from a man that was supposed to be an enemy. I have always wondered how they make that clicking sound when kissing in the movies I think I need lessons. Lol. But the truth is we are under the impression that what we see in movies is real and when we don't find it in our relationships we go shopping hoping to find it.

Using the Word of God as your foundation for building your relationship is the wisest thing you can do. In fact using any other source of "truth" has proved to be disastrous, marriage has been under severe attacks throughout history because the enemy has always known the power of good marriages. Right from the garden the devil attacked the first marriage and won that's why we have problems today.

There are so many substitutes to "truth" for your relationships let's look at what Hollywood says about the matter and compare it with the Holy Word of God.

Look at the list below and compare number 1 from Hollywood and number 1 from Holy Word etc and see where you stand.

Hollywood

1. Fall in love (you can fall out of love when things get difficult)

2. Date as many people to find your flavor (dating trains lack of commitment)

3. Touch, kiss, cuddle, caress "make love" to solidify the relationship

4. Be secretive about relationships

5. Sex is the foundation, what you get from your partner not what you give

Holy Word

1. Decide to be in love (deciding to be in love trains discipline even when things don't go well)

2. Courtship as a sign of commitment (courting trains commitment)

3. Flee fornication (sexual sin) as this causes the relationship to be strong

4. Be accountable about your relationship

5. Love is the foundation of the relationship, what you can give not what you can get.

These five comparisons on the different "truths" that are taught by Hollywood and the Holy Word help us to see how far apart these worlds are. Any Hollywood movie will teach the wrong perspective about relationships the choice is yours. Do you want a lasting fulfilling marriage or do you want a temporary empty thrill that ends in heartache?

Let's talk about this further you can respond on this blog or email me on pastortich@pwmi.co.za

What do you think about Hollywood’s version of love?

Hollywood love is lust built on infatuation not lasting love built on commitments and covenant. Infatuation is a word built of two words intense foolishness. If a relationship birthed from infatuation does not develop to the level of commitment it will always be a shallow one that does not last. Hence the high divorce rate even among Christians. If we take our advise from the wrong source then we are in trouble. If the foundations be destroyed what can the righteous do? Move your relationship to a place of commitment so that you can build a strong relationship.

Should I share my treasures?

FAQ’s for young adults couch

The article I posted yesterday has stirred up some interest in similar areas and it has led to me having to post this blog now to answer a burning question that has been asked a number of times. If you did not see the article I posted yesterday read it, it will help you.

Question.

Pastor what is wrong with giving my boyfriend before we get married, we are already engaged and he has paid and he is known to my family?

Answer

I remember just after I made an appearance at my in-laws and we were now half married we were told we could take our wife as we had followed the necessary protocol. I don’t know whether that was a trick question or they were serious. To tell the truth the temptation to agree and drive away on a honey moon was great but I had two challenges in fact three. One I was a Pastor and still am. Two my team consisted of an uncle and my big brother and some pastors. I could have convinced the first two that I am married but the pastors were not going to hear any nonsense and third I was scared I had not been given the flying instructions so I would not know what to do. So I gave up the offer and we said we are Christians and we had to get the blessing before God and so on. Inside I was thinking there are Pastors here they can bless us that it. Well you might be saying pastor you are supposed to be holy. Well I am very holy trust me but I want to illustrate to you that if you do not have safety measures around you, you will get into trouble.

The answer to the question is simple the only time God looks at a sexual union and blesses it is when it is between husband and wife in a marriage that has been blessed before God.

Question

Why are the rules so tough we love each other and we desire each other sexually?

Answer

The power of marriage is in the covenant that is made between the two of you and that covenant is held together by trust. The moment you indulge in sexual intimacy you violate the trust factor and sooner or later there will be a problem. Pleasure without reasonability is dangerous and it will lead to compromise in the trust factor of you relationship. The pursuit of the man id based on the promise of the pleasure and the covenant that you are building and when you give him he will wonder why its free and he will wonder who else is getting and when you try and convince him that hey you are the only one, because trust is already compromised there will be a problem.

I teach my children that God has given you some treasures and they know exactly where those treasure are (if you need help to know them call me) then I teach them the treasure were given to you by God to look after them well and one day when you get married you will be able to give them to you spouse. So we talk about hide you treasures, look after your treasures etc. now if you take the treasures and share them before Christmas day when Christmas comes the treasures have already been open and there is no excitement and anticipation. Honeymoon is just like well whats new?

Worse if you have shared your treasures with more than one person. Think of this picture we go for lunch and we a soda the waiter brings it to the table and its open and you say who opened it? The waiter points to this tall rough bearded man on another table and says well he did and after a few sips he decided he did not want it so he ordered something else, but its ok he only took a few sips most of it is still in there we will reduce the price in fact you can have it on the house. What would you do? That might be you last visit to that restaurant. My wife and I can share a soda without thinking in fact when we go for dinner she always takes food from me and I take her juice. No pun intended. But we have no problem with that, but if you came and said I left this juice for you I will….

If we are so strict about juice how can we be slack about our treasures? God is very strict about matters of purity he says flee fornication. In fact there are four interesting things he says we must flee from, fornication, youthful lusts, idolatry and the wrong relationship with money. We will talk about these another day. But to flee is a strong word, God used it deliberately because that’s what we need to do. A perfect picture is Joseph who fled and left his cloak. He had an opportunity to sleep with Potiphers wife and no one would have known. The Bible says she was casting her eye on him. Now its easy for a woman to resist that but for a man it’s a different story that is why I say ladies have mercy on the guy wait to unleash your sexual energy at the honey moon.

There is a law called the law of diminishing returns. The more you get the more you want. Just being together gets boring, so you hold hands, then that gets boring then you cuddle then that not enough then you start heavy petting then that has no thrill then… whops how did that happen. They say when hearts are connected lips want to meet and of course the rest is history so guard against that.

Let me close with a story in 2^nd Samuel 13. We find a number of characters that I want to introduce to you. Absolom the proud vengeful prince, Amnon the lustful selfish prince, Tamar the beautiful attractive naive virgin princess, Jonadab the sneaky advisor and cousin, David the father with poor judgment and no attention to his children and the servants. The Bible says Amnon loved his sister Tamar and the word used here is not agape the God kind of love no its “aheb” which means he loved her or “had sexual affection towards” notice what made hive love her more or lust after her was the fact that she was a virgin. There is nothing wrong with the two of you have sexual affection for each other in fact if its not there is something wrong but what takes over board is if it is not controlled and governed which is what Amnon failed to do. He made himself sick from his lust and got advise from Jonadab.

Ladies please note there is a Jonadab in every man and all the brothers be careful of Jonadab he advises you to do all the wrong things. He says you can handle, just watch a little bit, just touch a little bit you can handle it. There are people that are dead because of Jonadab including Amnon because he was eventuality killed by the proud vengeful prince Absolom for raping their sister.

Here are some thoughts to consider. Why did the father not read through the lie and allow his daughter to fall pray to a lustful young man? Where was the brother when the sister went to cook for the half brother? Surely he knew that Amnon had issues. Why did Tamar agree to go in after Amnon had sent the servants out of the house? Why did Amnon not want to follow the advise given by his sister to say marry me then all the treasures will be your?

Well these are serious questions what do you think?

Last question

How can I say no without hurting his feelings?

Answer

Well you just say no and leave

There is no way to say with out hurting his feelings either in his heart or in other places but if you hurt his heart and his feelings he will respect you. If you hurt yours by submitting to him you will be hurt for life and you will loose your dignity. Which is better?

Well you asked me some questions so allow me to as you some. What are the answers to these questions I have asked you?

FAQ’s for young adults couch

Young in a strange generation

As a young adult have you ever felt overwhelmed by the world around you the speed at which things move and change, the questions about careers, marriage, relationships, money and sex? Well if your answer was yes then you are not alone. Statistics have it that this is the most difficult time to be young when it comes to dealing with the complexities of life and weaving your way around the jungle of making the right decisions. Of course you don't have to deal with plagues and barbaric raiders and other weird things like that. The challenges you deal with are spiritual, emotional and intellectual to mention a few.

You have to keep up with a fast paced world that redefines itself as fast as you can send an email across the globe. You can easily get caught up with the razzle and dazzle of this world that you forget about the principles that govern life. Homosexuality, lesbianism, immorality, corruption, greed, violence and so many other issues are plaguing us on every medium possible. As a young man growing up and aspiring to be a good husband one day the easy access to pornography and other illicit x-rated material does not make your choices any easier, as a young lady wanting to get ahead in your career and still have a great family you are faced with the continual pressures to compromise your values and personal value in order to get ahead.

How can I navigate this world full of landmines without blowing my integrity and loosing my virginity? How can I succeed without taking the shortcuts that others are taking?

“Well pastor we are in a generation where marriage is overrated, integrity can mean anything you want and virginity is no longer a word in the dictionary except when we talk about Virgin airlines and virgin active. The world has moved on so we need to catch up to that other wise people will think we are prehistoric”.

Think again the pressure that is in the World today has always been there the fears the challenges on your value system etc the list goes on, the Bible says there is nothing new under the son, what was is and what is was. We are here at the Young Adults Couch to help you with answers to these questions and please note are solution are old fashioned but guess what so is sex, marriage and getting pregnant, getting a job buying and selling and taking a bath. These things are old fashioned but we still do them why should the other stuff change come on get real.

These topics that we will cover are based on some of the hot questions that I have queued up for addressing issues in your life. I have filed the questions and topics that have been on the top of the list for the past few years and now we are bringing them out to help you navigate life well and come out unscathed by the land mines. I have called this FAQ’s for the young adults couch. In case you do not know what FAQ’s are that is Frequently Asked Questions. I minister directly to about fifty young adults weekly of this platform and facebook and other social networks. The blogs are getting to thousands of young adults lives on a monthly basis not all call in personally to talk. I always think that God was thinking of me when He gave Mark Zuckerburg the idea for face book. So we are coming out clean and dealing with those matters that affect young adults lives. We will endeavor to be as practical and as real as possible. We will use scripture where possible but some things don’t have a black and white scripture to support it, like should I marry Sandra or Susan or should I work in an orphanage or a school.

QUESTION

What can we do to keep our relationship pure? Is it possible?

ANSWER

Well yes it is possible the Bible never requires you to do something that you cannot do. My first time to ever have sexual intercourse was on the 1^st of September nine years ago a day after our wedding wow it was awesome except that I could not find some things but that’s ok I have finally gotten round to knowing where they are. I felt it was sinful to read some verses in the bible that talked about sex, having been a youth leader and eventually a pastor to young people for so long our message was abstain abstain abstain until even I was scared of reading marriage books. I was extreme I suppose that why I was called Pastor Xtreme. But I learnt that you could focus your mind until it does the right thing.

QUESTION

Are there any steps we can take to protect ourselves from messing up?

ANSWER

Let me combine the answers with the previous question. Yes there are some steps you can follow that will safeguard you from making mistakes but the greatest tool you have is the resolve and the commitment that you will do the right thing. When the temperatures are high its easy to forget the steps its called “selective amnesia”. Here we go try these steps below

Make a covenant with your sweet heart that you will not violate each other by doing what you both agree to be out of bounds then make it with God and with yourself that you will keep things clean.

Agree with him/her to the standards that you will keep in the relationship. Then take the agreement and commit it to your mentor and be accountable to them with the relationship so that you can walk according to the set standards. That means giving frequent reports of all that is happening. My girlfriend then lived in a different city and when she visited I had to tell a friend of mine who is a pastor that she is coming she would stay with the couple and our visiting and events were monitored so I knew I would get asked difficult questions, so that kept me sober.

Did I want to sleep with her? Of course I did, she is a beautiful woman, did I get tempted yes I did but the mentor was scarier than the desire to sin. If you are courting someone you have no sexual attraction too there something wrong with you.

For the guys; Love her enough to respect her body and don’t you be pressing buttons because the machinery has no stop button. Avoid being alone in danger spots where there is no one watching

Value yourself enough to ensure you don't do any crazy stuff. Note that she is attractive to you sexually and that you are not made of metal you are made of spirit living in a physical body

To the ladies; have mercy on the brother and know that he is the weaker vessel (in this area) when going for dates don’t be overly sexual in your dress or you demeanor. Control the amount of sexual energy you release, as you will turn stuff on that will harass him for days. Avoid talking all the sloppy, crying stuff that makes him instinctively want to give you a shoulder to cry on coz he will give you more than a shoulder. And you will feel obligated to receive, there is nothing like a free lunch or shoulder for that matter.

For both carefully select your entertainment and ensure it’s clean. Flee all appearances of evil

Last question

Who is responsible for bringing up this topic and who manages the standards board?

Both of you but ultimately it’s the man he has already starting taking up the role of head of the home. It will not start automatically when there is a ring.

But hey have fun and love the Lord with all your heart, mind and strength and there will be little room for other stuff.

Planned Success Part II

Hi because of the serious demand and need for more wisdom from the young adults, to know how to be more successful in life I have had to post this earlier is was going to appear next week. Thank you for all that read and sent their comments on the previous blog, I am so glad you were blessed. And wow all the orders for the manual I see you have been provoked to see you life and future differently. I am still processing the other requests so please give me time. By end of day today (02/12/11) all outstanding orders will have been processed. If you noticed what the module is doing is it immediately attacks you as a person and what you look like and if you are honest you will be able to see all the areas you need to work on. Every answer that is not satisfactory to you or your mentor is an area to work on so you might need to take note of that in your personal development plans for the next year and have a strategy.

An example on page 13 at the bottom is the question “Do you change your mind often? YES___NO___ Do you usually finish everything you begin? If you answer is yeas to question 1 and no to question 2 it immediately tells me you are a reed kind of person like Simon and not a Petros (rock) so you need a strategy on how to develop in you a strong consistent focus that follows through on assignments till complete. Did you know that most people with plans fail to succeed because they give up just when success is about to knock at the door? I have seen many young men give up when the girl was about to say yes, then she says maybe he was not serious when he was just nervous that she was taking long. The opposite is also true I have seen young ladies put in a great strategy to get a good man and just the right guy was about to make a hit she is seen going for lunch with this weird guy whom everybody knows is a player sex weeks later the guy got what he wanted the lady is left broken hearted say all men are the same. No their not I know some good men out there if you need a CV let me know. Lol.

Ok enough on the personal development module lets relook at the other tools mention last time and discuss them briefly and their importance to your success strategy.  Let me focus on four tools that are closely related and very important.

Your vision document

Your diary

Your calendar 

Your journal

You all know Proverbs 29 vs. 18 where there is no vision the people perish” that certainly sounds like someone is failing in life doesn’t it? Another translation says when people do not accept divine guidance they run wild. Ouch, does this sound like you? Of course you have never run wild in your life, relationships, career and finances you’ve got it all together. Well I have run wild before so I know what it means. It is much better to run your life by a vision not a crisis.

Your vision document tables your personal vision to the “T”, it helps you to see where you are going and how you are going and what you need to get there and what you will do to get there and of course who you want to go with. The vision document should help you to be focused on a destination though success is not a destination but the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal (its in the module, order now and Pastorxtreme@gmail.com) I am currently working on a tool that will assist you discover you personal vision and it will also assist in developing a vision corner. Wow where else can you get such powerful tools for free except at the Young adults couch. I know some people that go through courses worth as much as R5000 just to get the material you get on this blog. If you want to sow feel free to do that so you can eliminate the principle of valueless value. If you do not have a vision document that you are intimately acquainted with then you are in trouble talk t your mentor and sort that out immediately.

Your diary, calendar and journal are very related and very important but they are different. Growing up we used to abuse diaries. We would turn to the relevant page and right there what we did today. You would open a young persons diary and see something like this. 15 June 2011 Went to the shops and saw a pretty girl. She looks new in our area. Will investigate. Mom was angry when I got home because my room was a mess. I can see your smile, did you do that as well. Most of us are guilty. A diary is for planning the day and the week ahead in line with the vision. A calendar helps is to see the eagle view picture of the week month and year. We diarise the day so we can manage our time well, we journal the events that have been accomplished so we can see progress and review our performance we calendar events so we can plan our life better.

When you look at your calendar and diary it should be full of things that enhance the vision you have set for yourself. If you want to be a doctor and you calendar is full of soccer matches and pool parties then there is a problem. The secret of your success is hidden in your daily agenda, what you do daily and deliberately will determine where you end up. Wow I should say that again. Live a deliberate life not an accidental life. Do things because they were planned not just because they could be done. Proverbs 16 vs. 9 A mans heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps. Hey notice there must be a plan before the Lord can direct you. Have a vision and a strategy and then let God direct you even if it means He changes the plans totally.

When you look at the diary and calendar and you compare what you planned to do and what you actually did in your journal it will tell you whether you are making any headway in achieving what is in the vision document. Planned success is about setting out to succeed and putting out a path to make that happen and being diligent and accountable to follow through on that. You better make sure that you have these tools in your success kit. Fortunately these days you can get a four in one. The diary, journal, calendar and vision document are in tin the same thing with many other tool in there that are helpful like daily scripture readings and inspirational stories. Success thrives where there is inspiration. Well I got to stop here as this is a lot already. I will do a final blog on planned success as we look at the other tools that we did not look at.

As a special bonus I will continue the offer of the Success Paradigm 101 module until New Years Eve and I will also throw in some notes on how to plan your day well. These have been very helpful to me as I was taught to plan every day well. God bless you and live a life of planned success.

Pastor Xtreme

See you in the corridors of SUCCESS

Planned success

That is a strange title because there is nothing like accidental success. The very word success means there was a planned goal that was to be achieved. You may say they are people that were trying to do something and some how without knowing how they bumped into success. Well again there was a predetermined goal that was to be achieved the method was not known but the result was envisioned.

Anyway I said that to say this. If you are to see success in your life you must plan to be successful. I want to challenge you in this blog to have a clear plan for where you are going and what you want to achieve. As you look forward to 2012 you need to do it with the plan to succeed. Not just thoughts of success but also a strong desire that is followed through by action.

I have been doing a lot of teaching on success and I can confidently tell you that success comes by design and most people hope that things will just work out somehow. But I discovered that does not happen. You have to have a plan to succeed. In fact in the module I will offer you at the end of this blog I speak about how they say only about five percent of all people in the world will succeed in life. For me that's an appalling statistic. Why are so many people failing in life and so few succeeding?

Having done some research over the years I discovered the difference and that is why I am sharing this with you. I have a passion to see people succeed in life as a whole. I have created a number of tools that will help to get well on your way to living successfully. It’s like a carpenter going to do a job he needs a well-stocked tool kit in order to do a good job. You do not want to travel all the way to a sight and realize that you forgot to bring you drill so you drive all the way to the workshop and fetch the drill then you go back to the sight only to discover that you need the chisel so you drive all the way back to fetch on returning to the sight you discover to screws are too long. Ok you get the picture. As funny as that sounds this is how many people are living life.

What do we need to have in our successful life toolbox? Here is a list that I can give you as a start up kit for you.
1.    Your Bible
2.    Your journal
3.    Your writing tools
4.    You vision document
5.    Your diary
6.    Your yearly calendar
7.    Your personal development library
8.    Internet access (for research)
9.    Books, CD's and video material for motivation and inspiration
10.    Your will to win and succeed
11.    Pastorxtreme’s Success Paradigm 101 workbook

With these tools you can be successful in your life goals. If you do a search of people that you believe to be your role models of success

Your coach
Let me talk briefly about your coach. This is the person who walks with you through the process. He helps you chose and use the right tool to get the best results because they have walked the road. The rebuke when necessary, they correct, encourage, celebrate and even sympathize with you...) but their primary role is to bring the best out of you. Have you ever wondered why the coaches stand at the side during a match looking troubled and trying to communicate to their players on what to do? Well that's because the success of the team sends a big message on how good they are.... Success is a desirable thing. I have always wondered at the fuss of hiring and firing coaches that happens before and after world cup. It was until I discovered that your coach determines whether you win the cup or not. My question is ‘‘who is coaching you?''

There are a lot of good online coaching tools that will help you and I encourage you to be a regular visitor of some good web sites and blog’s that will help you in your walk of success.
Watch out for Part two of this blog I need to stop here, I will be explaining the other tools in the next blog. SO do not miss it. Before I go I want to offer you the manual for you personal development. Its R30 for a full printed version. This is just for production costs as a seed to you. Optionally I can email it to you and you have to print it for yourself. Email a request to pastorxtreme@gmail.com

Getting married

Getting married

Here is a blog for everyone who is single and searching. Getting a spouse is not as daunting as some would want us to believe it is. I want to give a few tips that will be helpful to you. To lay a few foundations allow me to say that I am a pastor and therefore my advice is biased towards a biblical worldview. I have heard some people say, “Well I really don’t need a man/woman I can remain single and I am happy. Wellll a few of those that say this are telling the truth. Most are trying to cover the hurt, shame and pain of being disappointed. Face up to it and tell yourself the truth “I need a husband/wife” God created us with a need for relationship and the most intimate relationship by Gods design is that between husband and wife.
  
Having said that the most basic foundational truth you need to have is that believers should marry believers and sinners should marry sinners because as God puts it. Can two walk together unless they are in agreement? You have to be on the same page. What are our values, beliefs and core principles that we will use to build our relationship? If you have too many differences you will have to work extra hard to make things work. On Sunday morning he wants to sleep in you want to go to church. On Saturday night she wants to go clubbing and you want to go for a men’s meeting but if you let her go alone you not sure what she will get up to. You want to tithe and your spouse wants to see a “sangoma” (witch doctor)

So when you search; search for someone who carries the things you carry or else you will putting out fires for a long time but if the ground is level it helps. Please do not believe that I am saying you will find someone you totally agree with its not possible. You grew up with your mom or your siblings but you hardly agree on a number of issues. So it’s not wise to look for someone you totally agree with, but let the major topics be clear.

But this issues the underlying scripture that will help you. Proverbs 18 vs. 22 he that finds a wife finds a good thing. (for further explanation on this check my blog with the same title in ''Married and loving it'' http://buildingagreatmarriage.blogspot.com/2011/08/discovering-your-spouse-part-1.html ) note marriage is about finding a good thing, something that promises pleasure and not pain. People never go out of their way to seek pain they are all looking for pleasure

This is the key finding a spouse (or being found) is about promising pleasure and not pain. There are no people that seek pain deliberately. If you want to be found be a promise of pleasure to someone. Pleasure speaks of the total package not just sex. There has to be pleasure in companionship, purpose, destiny, and intellectual compatibility, recreational pleasure. All these components are part of the package.

In the social networking and going out and events program be guaranteed that there is someone out there who is looking for the pleasure you potentially can offer so always have your best foot forward. This is not to say you advertise to all the people that are searching no. But the people you meet know someone that knows someone that could be the one. If for example you are one of those sisters with high standards and that's a good thing to have, you must not spread thwarted word that you are a source of pain all the guys share CV's and soon you will develop a reputation that will be hard to erase. Always communicate clearly and strongly to the wrong guys that you are not the one. But do not develop the wrong reputation.

Men are looking for pleasure and so are you but if you portray the wrong picture you will have to work twice as hard to regain your reputation.

It might sound crude to say it’s about a promise of pleasure especially in the church circles where pleasure is seen as a bad word. Interesting to note that 54% of all marriages end up in divorce and this sadly includes Christian marriages. When you look at the causes of divorce its often-centered around sex, money and communication problems. Distilled to their simplest form people divorce because there is no pleasure in the relationship, but there is pain. No pleasure from a resource perspective, companionship perspective or sexual perspective. So I want out because someone else or something else is promising me more pleasure. This obviously is often a lie but when in pain you never really make rational decisions you want out.

The solution is simple become a pleasure expert and you will have someone chasing you. Again let me emphasize that pleasure here is not limited to sexual pleasure but includes it. Don’t tell me you are getting married just because you need a prayer partner only. Some of you might never really pray together you want someone to enjoy life with.

By the way I need to close with this "Pleasure without responsibility is not good for you" When pleasure is given there must be responsibility otherwise you will produce a lot of illegitimate things. Sex outside of marriage is a disaster in many ways you need to avoid it at all costs. Do not give away pleasure without demanding commitment and responsibility you will be hurt and hurt others. Do not use it as a trap use it as a promise if there is commitment. Take every necessary step in developing the relationship in a way that communicates seriousness and commitment not just a pursuit of pleasure without the former.

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