Young Adults Couch

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Types of men

Types of men

Now that last post was hectic it got a lot of passionate responses at the young adults couch talk show. If you missed the last one make a date with the young adults. In this blog we are looking at the types of men out there. Do you have a profile of the kind of man you want to hook up with. I know the ladies are always more organized in this than the guys. From about three you hear young girls talk about getting married and having children while the guys are playing cops and robbers or deceiving themselves that they are batman or spider man.

Well believe it or not there are no super heroes with six packs out there that come and rescue you from the dragon or the robbers but there are real men that eat normal food that sleep and get angry but still can win your heart. So wake up and let’s deal with the real world as we prepare to get married. Can I begin with the notes that I highlighted in the previous blog on types of women this will help you not get depressed that there is no hero waiting to sweep you off your feet.

1. The Casanova
This is the typical heart breaker, little or no commitment to the relationship or to the person
Has little regard for your feelings
Very romantic (He's your ''Romeo and Juliet'' type of man, he's got the words, style warmth that would melt your heart but he can be generous with his romance with others)
He moves faster than yesterday’s news, here today gone tomorrow caught the next beauty that came by
His charm always wins him a girl to show of as a prized possession

2. The Raging bull
Full of energy and moves at high speed
He enjoys himself and life always out and about doing something
He enjoys his looks ''six pack and all'' uses it for his advantage
Will often make the woman feel that she is lucky to have him (Marry had her eyes on me so you better be glad you got me)
Can be indifferent about your feelings, was never taught to be affectionate and tender
Can stomp on you and hurt you and not know what he did

3. The cowboy
He wants to drive the relationship (not as a leader but as a boss)
He has a whip as part of his tools and spurs on his boots When you don’t listen he will use his tools)
He makes things happen there is momentum in the relationship but it’s at his pace (you feel pushed and driven along on the journey)
Can have little or no regard for your feelings he wants to achieve things
Travels a lot can be away for long periods of time ''for the good of the family'' while neglecting the family
Not very consultative independent spirit will not notice you till he needs something
He loves himself, very self centered will make noise when ignored
Believes in hard work and delivery & 'results'

4. The promise keeper (The covenant man)
He is unemotional about things and very principled
He is not very romantic not good with words
He is faithful and there, often make good father
He is loving and mindful of you (remembers anniversaries and birthdays including the children’s)
Expects high level of commitment from partner
Very time conscious and cannot understand those that are sloppy in this area

5. The genius
He is sharp intelligent and creative
He is committed because he has no time or energy to start another relationship
He is shy and introverted he is a thinker not very social but can thrive in a creative think tank of like minded people
He recovers slowly when let down because he is very committed to the relationship
Not very good with personal grooming
Not very good at conversation and relationship building

6. The worker
He delivers amazing things. He can cook, clean and manage the home better than his wife.
He is faithful dependable and reliable
He is naïve he thinks the whole world is diligent like him
He is not very fun to be around, no humor or idle chitchat “we have work to do”

7. The Pastor
Very sweet and boring kind of guy
Very loving warm and understanding and compassionate
Committed to relationship but needs to learn fun and adventure and fun and re-creation. Understands covenant though very loyal
Can be very good at giving attention outside without realizing the neglect at home
Very encouraging and motivational but does little around the house.

So ladies which guy do you prefer, like they say one woman’s meat is another woman’s gossip (lol) You might also want to practice the salad principle a little of this and a little of that and a big dash of that, and can I have the bacon well done please. Well that often work but know that then men come standard and your prayer and strategy can grow the other areas.

Lets talk about this (Esclusive to the Young adults couch)

The Young Adults Couch: Types of women

The Young Adults Couch: Types of women: "Types of men & women in the world I was taught by the best and I had the privilege of knowing some important ingredients about the final s..." Know whats on the market before you go shopping

Types of women

Types of men & women in the world

I was taught by the best and I had the privilege of knowing some important ingredients about the final steps before you even consider whom to marry and I want to share with you in this blog. We had a blast at a talk show we hosted a few weeks back on what to look at as you prepare to get married. Have a laugh in this blog and discover yourself or your potential spouse and you do this review.

Part of preparing to get married means you have to know what you are getting into a relationship with because you do not want too many surprises. One too many surprises is too many so here is a rough guideline that will help you. My Dad Dr. Shana taught that there are certain types of women that you will meet out there and that you have to know how to handle them or else they will handle you. There are some ground rules to know before you read these notes other wise you will freak out and say well that’s not me or he is not like that.

Please note

1. None of them are irredeemable you just have to know what you are dealing with, God can work on them and develop other components or characteristics that you like or want to see
2. Some of these people can change if worked on and dealt with well. The Bible says husbands must deal with their wives with understanding if things are to work well for you. My wife often says honey you have a tough job in understanding me because sometimes I don’t understand myself
3. Some people are actually looking for some of the characteristics that might be a put of to another (EG. A weak timid man might need a queen of spades or a slave master because he feels she will get things happening. Men from mom headed homes are often soft and tender like Jacob)
4. You can find some of these attributes mixed up in different people in different measures and like a salad you can increase the cheese and reduce the tomatoes
5. You will have to do a trade of and say I am willing to take this even if it looks incomplete according to my profile of a spouse but I know that we can work on it.
6. You might need to look at the raw materials of some of the things you desire from a spouse but be willing to work on them, because some raw material is just that raw material
7. Be willing to accept that some things will never change. That’s always tough for people to accept

Right here we the first type of woman

1. The competitor
She will try and show you off to her friends and prove that she has the better guy
When she leaves you she brings around the new guy to show you that I have a sub and I am fine without you. Showing off is key to her, as she feels good about it, it’s an ego booster
She holds on to you strongly in a bid to always have the right public appeal
She wants you t be amazing in your accomplishments so she can have something to talk about
She can be a strong motivator but a poor friend because her motives are often selfish

2. The Slave master
Control freak (She is in charge, where we go, who we see, color of the car we buy, how you dress) she can be called “The mother” (Someone with a compulsive desire to exert control over situations and people.)
You become a slave of love she makes you unhappy when she feels she is not in charge
She wants your world to revolve around her (Where were you? You didn’t call me, whose number is this?)
From a model of a domineering mother or fear of looking week
Or grew up in a mother/child headed home (no picture of a solid family)

3. The wounded shrew
Always communicating pain hurt to get attention and empathy
She makes you feel like the hero/doctor love (Oh ever since you came into my life I have been so happy)
Wants you to pay attention to her (I am going through so much)
She will even create a fight so she can get attention (You came late again I felt so unloved…)
Always needs love, when healed they create new wounds because they feed on the attention
They are demanding and difficult to get along with
They want your time space and attention all the time

4. The hiding beauty
She does not think/realize that she is beautiful
Or she might know she is beautiful and fears getting taken advantage of therefore she hides it (They feel people are just coming for her beauty)
They have confidence issues; they want to be complimented often so they feel loved
Thy can be a bit schizophrenic (I’m beautiful and I not sure if they see it, they see my beauty and will take advantage of me, maybe I am not beautiful enough)
They need snow whites mirror (the ugly which and the raving beauty are fighting)

5. The desperado
They are desperate to be loved
Any one can do just to get love; they flaunt themselves at men hoping for a catch
Will use sex to get attention will flaunt her sexuality to get love
Is very aggressive in pursuing the relationship. Once you show interest she will sink her claws deep into you and will not give up easily
(Guys are often scared of by desperate women they think if it’s this easy to get who else got?) Guys feel that the pursuit has got to have adventure in it “hard to get is often attractive to them

6. Flower in the wind
Blown about all over the place, not very stable and not very committed to the relationship
Is in the middle of the road about life “Well whatever”
If the lotto of love blows my way I will get a man.
Even when pursued she would rather not commit herself too much she is open to anything. This often serves to protect herself from the pain of rejection “Well I didn’t think it will last anyway”
She is sweet and loving though when she is caught
She is a high maintenance person you have to keep pursuing

7. Queen of spades
She says I love you but you don't deserve me. You have to work hard to qualify for her approval
“Dress like this do that go there” keep up appearances or you will pay
She is tough on the outside but often very soft and insecure inside. She needs the love and does not want to show it
She will place many demands that help her feel secure in your love by meeting them. When this is not done you will have a storm on your hands

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

The Young Adults Couch: How to get married

The Young Adults Couch: How to get married: "Steps to getting married There are many things that a occupying the minds of young adults but none boggles them like that of marriage. Wh..."

How to get married

Steps to getting married

There are many things that a occupying the minds of young adults but none boggles them like that of marriage. Who do I marry? What will it be like? Are they a virgin? Will they love me? Why should I bother about getting married? Well if you have had any of these questions in your mind at least once in the last two hours this blog is for you. I would like to help you as you navigate through the stormy waters of young adulthood. Having been there, done that, go the socks and all. I would like to be your friend and partner in going through these exciting times in your life. There is so much I have learnt over the years that I wish I had heard when I was a young adult and there is stuff I heard I wish I had listened to more closely.

Think of me as a friend and a tour guide as we sit together in “The young adults couch” and you are receiving final instructions as you embark on an amazing journey into life. I will share with you nuggets from the Word of God that will be both life changing and humorous. We will laugh together, cry together, pray together rejoice together we will study together and learn together and grow together. What I do know is when we are done you will be that much wiser than you are and all the more equipped to go on your journey never to remember me until we meet in the blog “Married and loving it” and “Financial revival”

Well lets get started and tackle our first subject. How to get married?
In talking to many young adults I have come to learn that the difference between them getting married and remaining single is an attitude. Those that are not married and are dying to be, are an attitude away from getting into that special relationship. There are many wrong attitudes that I have seen in the lives of nubile young people listed below are some of the attitudes I have observed. Can I put a disclaimer here and say “Pastorxtreme is not responsible for any defamation or damage that may occur to any person while on this blog. Secondly please note that none of the words on this blog are targeted at any person known or unknown to myself or an relative known to me”
That was fun I’ve always wanted to say that.

Some wrong attitudes
1. Well he/she will have to like me the way I am
2. When the time comes it will happen he/she will come into my life and…
3. Let me be tough to him and see if he is serious
4. I must remain in prayer and he/she will come to me
5. I must to advertise extensively to get a catch

These are some of the attitude that I have seen in some people and they seem to remain there for a long time as opposed to short. Do you see yourself in any of those up there or should I list some more? A wrong attitude can put of even the right person. I have seen some young ladies act like porcupines when a young man begins to notice them. Whether he is the right one or not treat him right so you do not develop a bad reputation among the brothers and soon none of them will come close because they saw the holes in John. (Please note that there is an assumption that we are dealing with Christians here so the issue of worldly sister or brothers is not even considered)

Be clear about your position without being rude or nasty as the community that you are in is creating your CV for you. A wisdom principle says "The Company you keep determines who see’s you, and who see’s you determines who marries you” hang around the company you believe will potentially produce the kind of spouse you want to marry. While in that company focus on making yourself the best you can be as a person so that one day when he/looks at you something will register and say bone of my bone flesh of my flesh.

There is nothing wrong with being attractive to your potential partner; in fact you have to have some attraction if anything is going to happen. So look good guys, shave, deodorize, wash and iron the shirts, buy some breath mints learn to say “Hi my name is John” in that special way that will make her think of you later. Make an impression and remember the first impression last. Ladies dress well, do your hair nails, lashes and anything else that can be made except love. That should wait till you are married. Look good and feel good about yourself. Some people need a make over, loose some weight, get a new hairstyle, do a course open an email address. Hang around some place where you can be seen without making a big advert out of it. Have fun in life and let someone come and join you. Don’t expect someone to come and join your miserable life unless they have the gift of compassion.

I have listed below some of the things that you need to get as you prepare to cross over to the “Married and loving it” group. The Bible says in proverbs “Wisdom is the principle thing therefore get wisdom: in all you getting get understanding. If you get wisdom and understanding" with the same diligence you got to he mall to get an out fit or hair do or the same way you go to college to get a Diploma you will be successful in life. Here is a wisdom principle “Any problem you will ever face in life is a wisdom problem” and the Bible is a wisdom book in fact it the wisdom book. So get understanding and wisdom.

Here is some wisdom if you these things listed below you will also get a spouse. I hear a young lady saying “Well who says we all want to get married?” I know there are people that are gifted to remain single all their lives but often the ones that ask this question with an attitude are usually not gifted in singleness but pain and disappointment has caused them to become hard and cold and develop an attitude that is stopping even the sweetest man of God from walking into their lives. BE FREE IN JESUS NAME. Now receive it and go get these things and you will be fine.

Here is what you are to get
1. Get beautiful
2. Get anointed
3. Get connected
4. Get equipped
5. Get wisdom
6. Get diligent
7. Get mentored
8. Get some desire
9. Get fun and enjoyable
10. Get friendly

Do you have all these in your shopping basket?

Hey these look like hot topic that we can look at in the following blog. So get ready to have fun with these. Let me know what you think about what we covered and we will go on an amazing journey. May I suggest pink and burnt orange for your wedding colors.

If you need ministry in a specific area please let us know and we will do all we can to help you. Yours in Christ Pastorxtreme

pastorxtreme@gmail.com

+27117927927