The first ingredient Honor

Finding the right guy

…Thank you Pastor. Well, I believe that a structured way of courtship will save us a lot of heartache. May we have guidance?...

Hello its been a while since I blogged I have been so busy writing books that its been a challenge to get to my regular blogging as I like to keep my blogs fresh, current and well researched. If you have not seen my book Success Paradigms 101 well… not sure what you been reading. Get it today do the personal assessment and see where you are in light of your success quotient go to www.success101.co.za you’ll enjoy it.

I am back with a bang and I would like to tackle some really hot topics in the next few months. For the young adults I want to look into courtship, dating and marriage, see the question above asked by one of our readers, very interesting question. Here is my disclaimer I am a Pastor and a success coach and this is an interesting mix because I am supposed to be relevant to all audiences. I am however a bible based minister and endeavor to give you Gods proven wisdom on the matters we discuss so don’t hate the Pastor just love the Word.

What do I look for in the guy that will sweep me of my feet? When should I be swept of my feet? Hey good questions, I am asked this question so many times and its amazing how many people get disappointed in relationships that get messed up simply because they ignore sound judgment in this area. This week I want to focus on helping the ladies, here is some wisdom that will help.

Think of this scripture in Proverbs 22:1 a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. Interesting God is telling you that you should look for good name more than great riches. How many of us look for comfort and financial security above a good name. Your first port of call should be the integrity and honor factor in the guy. Does he have a good name? This obviously is difficult to tell as there are some guys that should be given Grammy awards for acting.

How do I tell that he has honor? Will here are some clues

He has a good reputation in the community

He keeps promises

He honors and values you as a person (your thoughts, feelings and principles)

He handles his money well (Money tells a lot about what is in a persons heart) Jesus said where your treasure is that’s where your heart will be also.

He keeps his commitments

He does not lie (to you or to others)

He does not violate you by asking you to do what you are not happy to do

His words and actions communicate to you that you are valuable

The power of honor

Why make a fuss about honor over “handsome, cute, sexy, money” and the other things on your list? Well for start a man without honor is dangerous to all that are around because his words are empty. He promises and does not deliver the bible calls it clouds that bring no rain. The traits that most husbands demonstrate when the marriage goes south can often be picked up at an earlier stage of the relationship. Doing an assessment to locate where things are is a good way to begin

It is also important to note that a man without honor will cheat on you, as he will not be able to stay true to his promise or vow. What you translate to be security in marriage is when he delivers what he says he will. If words and action are not consistent you feel insecure whether it’s with the secretary or the messages on his cell phone or what happened to the R300 withdrawal. All this comes as a result of lack of honor in his life.

I know someone might argue and say well I want a Christian well I would not agree with you more but qualify “Christian” as that could mean many things. I see a lot of men that go to church and have no honor…

They don’t tithe

They don’t serve others

They consistently come late to church 

They do not worship in church

They do not pray

They are not connected or accountable

Pastor you are being hard, well am I really think of it this way he is a robber, liar, insubordinate person who has a low opinion of God. Does that look like good husband material to you? Look for a man who honors Gods word.

Most abusive men that I know are not accountable to anyone. In fact when men begin to flirt and have an affair you will see the above traits increase in their life.

Here is the good news a man who understands honor will carry the blessing on his life because his words have integrity he is not two faced. You cannot be lying to a person and expect your words to carry power in the realm of God. Going back to our scripture in Proverbs God is not against you having riches, silver and gold; no in fact he wants you to have it in abundance without sorrow. The result of honor is promotion, increase and wealth.

As I close its important that you be honorable as well because you attract who/what you are. Don’t be surprised when you discover that your boyfriend is cheating its your fault as much as it is his. Are you whole and well balanced?

Work on you and you will sooner or later attract him to manifest. Check your own honor level, where is it? Lets work on increasing it and you will see His goodness in your life be he that finds you finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord